Through My Eyes

I want to cover my face in paint
Pretending to be someone else
I am so tired of looking at my solemn eyes and sunken smile
I don't want to look in the mirror
I am falling apart at the seems
And I don't deserve more time
Problems that I won't admit fill my soul
Loneliness is my demon
And it visits me every night in my sleep
My mind wonders but it is detrimental
I want to hide behind stained glass
Letting the colors embrace my skin
But the cracks only let in the blinding white
And I cannot see beyond my own hands
I feel like I'm stranded in a vacant field with nothing but the stones to keep me company
With every waking moment my name is slowly carved into my own
I am different but it's more than that
I am a monster with the dream of beauty
A fool with a curious soul
A confused being with nothing to hold on to
I am broken with every memory
My heart is a mess
And I cannot connect to it anymore
My everything is masked under a pretty face but the truth is hidden deep within the stitches
The battle of my mind and heart is continuous
Even the simplest and strongest of hearts cannot mend the damage
And so I will remain this ghostly figure
Aimlessly floating up into the deep and never truly leaving the ground
Singing only the songs of the dead songbird that once caressed me
And losing my sanity in the sand